


Stars

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Gen, Internal Monologue, Loneliness, No Plot/Plotless, No Romance, Not Beta Read, Rambling, Sad, Vibing, nothing makes sense, tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27413461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: There were many stars that were engraved in the universe.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)





	Stars

**Author's Note:**

> There is no real character in this story so imagine whoever you want as the person narrating, it can even be a stranger if you want.

There were many of them in the sky, burning brightly and slowly dying. Looking at them made me realise how little I really was worth to the world. I was lucky to even be able to lay here on the roof staring at the sky, many don't even get the opportunity that I have. Laying here thinking about my internal crisis did not make the mood any better then it originally was. I was just probably going through teen angst, diagnosing myself with some type of mental disorder that I didn't really have.

Looking at the sky it was filled with probably airplanes and helicopters doing whatever they are doing, perhaps traveling and rescuing people . The cool breeze made the night so much more nice, the leaves slowly turning brown and falling off trees as winter hits hard. Thinking about it, I don't have any plans do I? I don't really know what the future held for me whether I went down a path of happiness and luxury or I die early somehow. Well, that's ok I'm fine with both outcome either way. 

This feeling of silence and nostalgia made me smile yet deeply depressed. The winter breeze blew, softly tickling the leaves ever so slightly. In my front yard there were many trees mostly Evergreen that were larger then the house. It obscured my vision somewhat a bit but did give good shade when it came down to summer days. The houses in our neighborhood were lined up in rows like soilders marching, and the lamp post that lines the empty street barely illuminating it. Many cars was parked along side the road, many were empty was no passengers some had people sleeping inside of it. Time feels like it doesn't exist anymore, and the sun that oh shine so brightly was across the globe wherever it was. The moon tonight was hidden by the clouds swirling the pitch black sky. Today, although there were a lot of clouds blocking the sky the stars shines brightly through it twinkling like a gem or jewerly. Now behind my neighbour's home and any that were behind it were mountains with the really expensive and luxurious houses. I was a bit greatful to live in a more calmer area and closer to the beach where I spend most of my summer alone with my parents avoiding people. I usually only avoid people cause talking to strangers were weird and making myself a fool in front of them was even worst. 

My phone buzzed once and in while disrupting the silence, it annoyed me greatly. I did not want to deal with this pitiful world right now. I wanted to hear the dead leaves be blown down the street, lightly scraping the road as it blew down to the next block. Now finally it was silent again. I thought about some future plans that I could have. But what if they failed? Was it best for me to just allow the universe to drag me to whatever destination it had for me? Oh what did humans do this time again? Always stirring the pot can't even go a few years without some type of conflict or tension starting to happen. My mind rambled on, thoughts racing my head while I looked at the neighbours house surveying from a far away distance.

While looking at the house, I thought to myself would I die if I jumped down? Well it really depended where and what position really plus why would I. Oh, I remembered now, there was school tomorrow today was the last day of winter break. I think I'm better off just not remembering that at all, going to see all my classmates again wasn't my ideal day but hey. It wasn't that I hated them or anything, hate was quite a strong word to describe it. But more so of envy, it wasn't even their fault so why would I dislike them? Their family seemed to genuinely care about them why can't mine do the same thing? Maybe my mom and dad did care but either they suck at showing that they do and or just kinda gave up and didn't care anymore. Either way they don't seem to care what really happens to me but doesn't allow me to leave the house by myself? 

At the beach my parents had to be close by for me to be even allowed to go so maybe they did care. Although threatening your kid that you were going to black mail them and ruin their life and career over a broken plate is an odd way to show care. I felt so much conflicting emotions right now, sad, empty, lonely, and calm. I right now wanted to text my friends and tell them how I felt and what situation I was in. But at the end I didn't, I was to tired to bother to go in depth of what I felt. Maybe I could cry my eyes out until I was void of any emotions crying was therapeutic they said. But crying made me feel more like a used McDonald napkin then really anything else. Ah I was now rambling to myself again and whatever spiritual human that was listening to me.

Now I checked my phone, around 3:21 I was out here for 3 hours already, time sure speeds up when you're just having a blast. I decided to head back in since if I were to stay out any longer someone could be mistaken me for a dead corpse on the roof. Slowly entering the window I checked to see that both of my parents were arguing about something probably money again considering that's all they do really. Sad they didn't even care to check if I left the house and escaped though I'm pretty sure that they value money over me. I slipped into the cold room my breath slightly shivering from the rooms cold tempture and staying out a bit to long. Moving slowly to the bed I climbed in exhausted from life and lay there starting at the bland ceiling. I forced my eyes shut trying to get myself to dream about something but failed at the end. Sooner or later I fell asleep in my room all alone once again.

I woke up from the alarm and stare out the window. Where the moon previously was last light the star was there to replace it today. I stayed there a bit more waiting for my whole body to wake up. After that I went to change into my casual clothes brushed my teeth and skipped breakfast like I always did. Arriving at school was nice, everyone walked to the entrance minding their business or hanging out with their friends. I knew it was impossible to ignore my friends. I walked towards my first class where they hanged around my desk area, this sight was familiar. I knew I was going to regret not living in this moment in the future. None of my friends will really last will they, we will have to spilt eventually so it was best that I sucked up this feeling while I still can. 

School was an odd thing for me, of course I couldn't speak for all the students though. I understood what we had to but I do not understand why they don't prioritise their students mental health. We were supposed to enjoy learning and find it interesting, that part is correct until middle school by then they just start cramming information into your head. The dumbest part is that you might graduate university and end up in the streets. Oh how my dream to move to a different country and live in a simple yet cozy home. But no, here I am stuck in this boring cycle. I don't even remember what we were reading about, some book about this murder. Looking outside the window, the yard was so serene and in a way nostalgic. The sky was pretty bright and there were many trees that surrounded the area giving many good spots to lie and nap. Today was not a breezy day seen as the trees did not sway that much, the platinum roses that the students planted looked nice with the weather . You could see the students that were casually walking to their classes even after the bell rang not caring that they were late. This place looked so familiar yet so oddly weird in a way. This whole experience, my life doesn't even feel real it felt more like a dream an internal slumber. Feeling a bit exhausted I closed my eyes for a bit only for the ringing bell to interrupt my peaceful rest. Looking around, everyone already pack moving quickly and efficiently to their next class. I hastily packed up not wanting the teacher to pay attention to me.

I didn't feel like going to math today and decided to ask my friends what our homework was later. A teacher asked where I was going since I wasn't in class yet and I simply replied that I was going to the office to get checked out. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow but did not push it and strode off to his classroom. I started to hastily walk towards the exit while thinking of an excuse to give to my parents on why I skipped school. Finally when I reached home I passed the living room and kitchen, headed straight towards the stairs. There I quickly laid down on my bed and scrolled on my phone, I could always finish homework later anyways. Scrolling on my phone felt like an escape from reality, well not really but somewhat there. 

Nine hit quicker then I thought, it only felt like what seem to be like a few minutes but turned out to be more like a few hours. I haven't finished any assignments that were due tomorrow and was burnt out from all the scrolling online. My parents have not called me for dinner highly doubting they'll ever call me. So, I decided to grab a quick snack and slowly but quietly climb to the roof were I wasn't bound. After reaching there, it feel soothing and calming but deadly silent. The only thing you could hear were the leaves and the pages of my notebook flapping in the wind. This feeling felt nice, to be boundless to nothing for awhile in this never ending cycle of torture.


End file.
